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The Celebration of Two Cubed |
This is a holiday designed for Jewish converts. Just as we have ripped off Christmas and Yule, we are also ripping off Chanukah. But this holiday is not limited to former Jews. Everyone can celebrate Two Cubed.
Two Cubed is celebrated on the same days that Chanukah is celebrated and it's a celebration of mathematics. Two Cubed is 2 to the third power - or 2*2*2 which is 8, the number of days in Chanukah. Two Cubed is celebrated for 8 days but the days are numbered 0 through 7 representing how computers count to 8. It is an educational holiday where children get to experience computers and mathematical principles and binary arithmetic.
For what it's worth - if Jews want to pick up on the ideas here, they can enhance and modernize their holiday by making it an educational opportunity. I have described this to several Jewish friends and they all like the idea. So - this is my gift to the Jews.
There is also a fake miracle behind this holiday. Many religions have fake miracles as the basis for holidays, so we shall have one too. The following paragraph is a parody for the amusement of the reader.
The story goes that First One was on an airplane flying from San Francisco to Washington DC and his laptop computer's battery only had been charged up enough to last one hour. But the First One started writing the Sacred Principles of the Church of Reality in flight and the battery miraculously lasted for 8 hours allowing the Sacred Principles to be saved before the battery died. (Some people dispute this account claiming that it was really a 5 hour flight crossing 3 time zones, and that the First One forgot that he put a second battery in the floppy drive bay.) Two Cubed celebrates this mythological miracle.
Like the Jews, we also have a Menorah. But our Menorah is different than the Jewish Menorah in that it has 3 candles instead of 8. That's because we count to 8 using binary numbers which takes only 3 candles.
000 - 0
001 - 1
010 - 2
011 - 3
100 - 4
101 - 5
110 - 6
111 - 7
Children are taught how to count from 0 to 7 using the candles. Jews are encouraged to use the 3 candled Menorah because it uses less candles and it is an educational opportunity. How many candles does it save? You figure it out.
Children below the age of 13 recite the first 8 powers of 2. Children 13 and older have to recite the first 16 powers of 2. If a child wants to be a smart ass, they can recite the first 32 powers of 2 - but if they get any of them wrong then they have to stand in the corner and count from 0 to 1023 on their fingers. On the first day we tell the Sacred Joke and everyone should understand why it is funny.
Kids are encouraged to solve brain teasers and are given presents of puzzles to solve. Kids are given ego treats for correct answers and other accomplishments. Contests are encouraged. Perhaps even 8 day contests for the more advanced kids. It's a celebration of logic, a time to debate, kids are encouraged to ask how stuff works and trips to planetariums are in order. It's a good time to take things apart and try to put them back together and to celebrate being smart. We teach that being smart is a good thing and we believe that if people try, they can become a little smarter than they are today.
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