Church Humor
There's something Funny about this Religion
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AMAZING REALITY
(sing to tune of “Amazing Grace”)
Amazing things I see each day
Before my very own eyes
Things that can not be explained away
They are real and are not lies
'Twas thinking mind and open eyes
That allowed me to find
All the wonder that in reality lies
Available to anyone with open mind
I live a life with no need for delusions
To enjoy all of life’s grandeur
There is no need for grand illusions
When amazing reality has such allure
There is beauty in all that is real
I am real and believe you are too
Think about it and here is the deal
Amazing Reality shows the world to you
by Gena Hendrix
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WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN DARWIN
(TO THE TUNE OF “WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS”)
What a friend we have in Darwin,
Some doubts and questions answered,
What a privilege to learn
Everything that man discovered!
Oh what peace we could find,
Needless bickering could end,
If everyone would look at
All the basis Darwin had.
Have we doubts and more questions?
Is there more to discover?
We should only be encouraged;
To let scientists give us answers.
Can we find those scientists
That stand for truth and reality?
Darwin knew the truth was out there;
Darwin knew reality.
Are the religious so blinded,
Can they really not understand?
Precious Darwin still our hope;
The evidence there to see.
Do your friends question your ‘origins’ beliefs?
Open your mind to new thought.
What a friend we have in Darwin!
Please join us in reality.
by Gena Hendrix
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I SAW DARWIN
(SING TO TUNE OF “I Saw the Light” )
I wondered where life could have begun
I couldn’t believe in any magical one
Then I came upon a theory to muse
Praise Darwin - he saw the clues!
I began to think! I began to think!
All of the facts they started to link
Now I’m so happy - reality to use
Praise Darwin - he saw the clues!
Just like a fool I wondered alone
Without reality my grasp was almost gone
Then I found reality was there for me to choose
Praise Darwin - he saw the clues!
Now that I know what’s real and I see
All of the wonder that surrounds me
I am so happy and I’m spreading the news
Praise Darwin - he saw the clues!
by Gena Hendrix
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Swiped from Aukland University Atheists.
Fundamentalist Atheist: There is no God, and anyone who thinks there is a God is a misguided and dangerous fool.
Evangelical Atheist: It is not sufficient that there is no God. We must do our best to make sure that nobody even believes that there is one.
Theological Atheist: The principles of logic demonstrate the absence of any omnipotent and omniscient being in the universe.
Adolescent Atheist: Since I am a teenager, I know everything, and I know there is no God. The fact that many adults think that there is a God proves my case.
Scientific Atheist: There is no God because I cannot create a falsifiable hypothesis concerning His existence.
Social Atheist: Well, everyone I know and respect is an atheist, so there must be something to it.....
Campus Atheist: I need attention, and also to feel important, and I can get these things by being obnoxious about the existence of God.
Politically Correct Atheist: God has a consistent history of discrimination on gender, racial and cultural grounds, therefore must be banned from existing.
Closet Atheist: There are no good reasons for believing in God, but what harm can there be?
Lethargic Atheist: Religion is such a hassle, why bother?
Paranoid Atheist: Religion - sounds like another conspiracy, along with the aliens, the dolphins and the CIA - they’re all out to get me!
Nihilistic Atheist: Life has no point, and the existence of a god would invalidate this, so it is obviously not true.
Puritanical Atheist: We shall smite the evil believers in nonsense, and continue our purge until not one theist is left alive...
Philosophical Atheist: I don't believe, therefore I am.
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