The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Our Official Fictional Deity
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Other religions have a fictional deity so why can't we? The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the creation of Bobby Henderson who wrote a letter to the Kansas School Board about his alternate theory of Intelligent Design. His revelation was that the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster and he used that to make a point about reality that Intelligent design is just Creationism religious dogma fraudulently repackaged as science.
The Church of Reality adopts the FSM as our fictional deity. As long as we know it is fictional there's no conflict with Realism. Since the FSM was created to make a point about reality it is appropriate that we choose him as our deity.
The Church of Reality also recognizes the Invisible Pink Unicorn. There is much argument as to her exact colour, her shape and size, and other properties of her nonexistence. She burns with anger against theists, and allegedly grinds them beneath her holy hooves. The "believers" famous sayings about faith in the invisible pink unicorn is that, like other religions, it is founded in science and faith. Science - that states that she must be invisible, since we cannot see her. Faith - because we know in our heart that the invisible pink unicorn exists.
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Have you ever wondered if the world really exists? Maybe this is all one big computer generated illusion and our brains are in a lab somewhere and all of this is an illusion, like in the movie The Matrix. If all of reality is really fiction, then having a fictional creator make sense. The Flying Spaghetti Monster represents the creator of the fiction we live in. We created him so that he can create us. Reality creating fiction, fiction creating reality. This is the theory of circular creationism. The creator creates the creation, which in turn creates the creator. If you think about it, most of the religions of the world already use this model of creationism.
In the beginning was the Big Bang, the moment when time and space were created. The universe expands outward, hits it's limit, and then begins to collapse. As the universe collapses time goes backwards. That is what is happening now, but we aren't aware of it because when time goes backwards we remember the future instead of the past so it all seems the same. But once we hit the Big Crunch (the end of times, which is really also the beginning of times) the universe inverts and becomes the fictional universe of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the cycle continues forever. He creates us and we create him.
We can tell we are getting near the time of the Big Crunch because fictional deities are becoming more and more real as more people turn away from reality in preparation for the great moment of reality inversion. The more we see people believe in the absurd, the closer we are to the Big Crunch. In the end time truth will become fiction and fiction will become truth. Morons will be hailed as geniuses. It will become patriotic to give up your freedom. Actors will be elected to public office in order to assume their roles in the new world order.
Reality too is a dichotomy. There is reality and anti-reality known as fiction. We create fiction and fiction creates us. We are the creators of the fictional Flying Spaghetti Monster. We create the fictional world. In this world lives everything that we imagine. It is a world where Gods and Comic Book super heroes live in harmony. This universe includes Spiderman, Superman, Zeus, Osirus, Thor, Dr. Strange, Jesus, Apollo, Vishnu, Allah, God, the Boggie Man, Satan, Spock, and Captain Kirk. Alice in Wonderland is really a prophesy about the true makeup of our dual universes.
In this reality we make up fiction. We control the fictional universe with our books and stories. Likewise the fictional universe makes up our reality and controls our universe with their books and stories. Their books include the Bible and the Koran and no one doubts the control they have in our reality.
We know that fiction can not exist without reality. But reality can not exist without fiction. Because after all, does the word real have any meaning if we don't have something unreal to compare it to? And if we are comparing what is real to what is not real, doesn't that mean that what is not real exists too? Therefore, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must be real. Circular creationism is supported by circular logic and therefore proves itself. Intelligent Design is therefore true!
See - I wrote this without the use of drugs. I was touched by his noodly appendage. Say No to drugs!
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